Whoops~

Its been a week and a month since I last posted here
Sorry, its not like I've been busy but more like lazy.

Heaps of things have happened since I last posted here.
Like losing my hair, like one of those Tibetan monks.

But, I've kept a diary of things I've thought about so yeah.
I've got a lot of crap, but I'll be brief.

Becoming gay is a perfectly natural thing.
I mean it a better way of counteracting over-population when compared to tsunamis and earthquakes.

I love it when busty girls wear shirts with print across their tits.
It gives you an excuse to stare.
I hate it when ugly bitches give that look for reading some witty play on words written on their flat chests.
Man, what you angry for, Its not like I was staring at your non-existent tits!

Oh here was an interesting one.
Remember how i said that all the girls in my new school were ugly. I actually came to notice something important after hanging about plaza singapura that has changed my perspective on this matter.

You see, Ugly girls are important things.
All hot chicks have at least one, ONE ugly friend.
To make them feel better.

So chances are... these ugly chics, they must have at least one hot friend, somewhere.
So I'll befriend the ugly girls and climb up their social ladder.
Get to know the hypothetical hot girl.
When she breaks up with her stud boyfriend. She will somebody to bitch about him with.

"Hey, you know, Neil, Aaron dumped me"
"Really OMG, you can't be serious"
"No, I'm serious *sniff*"
"Oh, so sorry, I can't believe it, what a bastard"
"yeah"
"He's an ass, I would never do that to you..."
"Really... you're just saying that"
................

The situation progresses and you've scored!
I mean it's always those dodgy best friends.

This entry was on the 15th of May. The only reason why this plan hasn't been put into action yet is the fact that the ugly girls think they're hot shit.
*sigh*


Well those were the first few entries in my diary
But I'm going out with Evan Tomorrow.
Maybe Ill post some pics

Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band

I had lunch with Evan on Friday at BK's.
The last time it was the two of us there we were bitchin' about Modern Minds and Pastimes.
The Click Five.
I liked Welcome to the Imrie House...
It kinda reminds me of my first day in ACS Int'l.

Where what I thought of people on my first day were all recorded down in a diary.
I found it in my treasure box the other day.
I found it hilarious, so I'll share.

Ibby was (EB I meant but I didn't know better) The guy who thinks he's a bad-ass 'cos he has a name like Iggy Pop.
Ben was The ass who can't stop talking about Australia
Chang was Ben
Kevin was That slanty eyed from Cario
Min was That Pale Fat Kid
Louis was Min, Just darker
Ezu was That guy who smells like chicken
Chris was That bitch who likes the Butch
Ally was Chris' sister, with the same complexion
Kim was that butch
Jakey was that Malaysian fag
Beatrice was the chic with the wonky smile, but could dance.
Jen was that girl who wore boxers
Lien was the gossip queen
Tabby was that rocker chic with red hair.

Vibrating Squids

Now, This morning, me and me mum were having a talk about dear old New Zealand.
Now I had told her something that would make all the Bio nerds get hot under the collar thinking about.
Something that would make them wet...
Something that would make them shiver in erotic anticipation.
Just like REZ for the PS2 would for the ladies!


Now REZ for the PS2 is absolutely godlike, in more ways than one.
Made in 2002 by SEGA it's absolute genius.
Its a game wherein you're a Cyber-Hacker.
You dodge weird security programmes whilst in a virtual body. Sort of shooting them out of your way... Maybe dodging some.

All in time to a Crazy Techno-Psychedelic Trance Beat!
HOLY SHIT it sounds cool don't it?

Actually it doesn't.
That's why SEGA had to go all the way for this game.
I mean its a cool idea, but not the best.
Now, we've all held a PS DualShock controller before haven't we?
Yeah of course we have!

Well SEGA made one of these Vibrating "Rumble Packs" for the REZ.



Its the fucking TRANCE VIBRATOR!
Its got 5 times the vibrating power of those DualShock controllers. It vibrates with increasing intensity in time to the trance music, and comes with a washable, waterproof cover...
I mean, why would you make the cover *washable* if it wasn't meant to be used as a sex toy?
The instruction manual said something like
"put it in your pocket"
But we all know what SEGA wanted us to do with it...
Yeah!
I meant its called a trance VIBRATOR!
But it was only released in Japan.

Well ladies playing this game have described the sensations as quite literally out of this world.
Try Imagining.
You play the lower levels, the musics not too intense, so you can't really get off on it.
Now you go to say, one of the Higher, Harder, More Intense levels.
With a Huge Phat beat, that you can finally get off on.

Your sight gets dizzy, you grip the controller weakly... You are about to cum...
then

You lose! FUCK!
Its like the ultimate Tease and Denial session! xD

Needless to say, its brought many gamers girlfriends into gaming...

Well anyway the thing that was gonna get those Bio nerds off was the dissecting of a complete Colossal Squid specimen later this week.
It could actually prove all those giant squid stories true. Cos its HUGE.

The Angry Video Game Nerd

What can I say?
Have you heard of the angry video game nerd?
If you haven't you should watch his fucking videos!
The man's hilarious.
He plays old-school nintendo games on a SNES and stuff
and he sucks at them.

Here's a link to his youtube channel.
http://www.youtube.com/user/JamesNintendoNerd

If I'm a dog then you're a bitch

I couldn't find any copies of "Bitter Virgin",
so I ended up getting a stuff toy instead.
Wow! I suck.
Louis though it was a rabbit.
But it was a Raccoon.

I don't wanna go for that thing on Saturday Ive been hearing about!
I don't...
Maybe I do, but I wasn't invited
I suck.

So! today I had an appointment with IRAS.
The rather dodgy people in the government who try and make as much money out of you with the word "Tax"
Some guy was late for filing his Income Tax for a day and was going to pay a fine of $800 or face charges in the supreme court sometime next month.

That's when I step in.

I'm meant to try and get them to lower the penalty and waiver the summon.
Well it wasn't that hard to lose a few hundred dollars...

Especially when the tax officer is hitting on you.
Yes that's right.
The 27 year old, female tax officer was flirting with me...
*I wouldn't trust my guesstimation with dates, I thought the people in my class were at most 18, but as it turns out I'm the youngest and the closest is 23*

That's just one of TWO instances today where old ladies have gotten hot under the collar around me.
Well after the Income Tax matter, I return to the office.
Some people who want to start a new company are there, talking to the boss.
I re-enter my work-station, and begin some casual data entry.

...after 15 minutes...

I ended up finishing up the company registration for them...
Then they leave.
Then, when they're just outside the door, one of the ladies say:
Their Clerk is such a handsome young man.
FUCK!?

I've been degraded! I'm not a clerk!

I swear this sucks!
You know I don't mind the whole older women thing
*MILFhunter!*
Well actually I do...
Look at Lao Shi.
Or my old house-mother, back when I was boarding.

I mean if its really a talent why can't I tune it to...
a younger audience...

Man this sucks

Pokemon Version YELLOW!

I dreamt about my tortoise 2 nights ago. He said he and his family's happy now swimming in a big pond. He's got his first kids. He was really happy.

EB: Someone's racist, wonder who?

Evan: Buttsecks is the Big In Thing now you know?
Neil: I think I dreamt about buttsecks awhile ago...
Evan: Its cool cos you don't have to discriminate, everyone has an asshole...

Willy: Neil it's this big?
Neil: Yeah...
Willy: You Lost weight!

Ben: Neil! You're fatter!
Neil: Fuck!

Red Dragon: Neil, you don't look Indian anymore.
Neil: Well *excited* What do I look like then?
Red Dragon: Gay...
Neil: ... Well I was entranced by this...

http://www.4shared.com/file/45110863/b0f4feb9/Calling_Chapter_01.html

Lien: Why a Turtle?
Neil: My Turtle gave birth awhile ago!


Well there is one comment I'd like to add, but it didn't happen today.

Louis: Anything darker than me... sigh. No

42-42-564

My Internets a bitch.
Suffice to say I haven't been having much contact with the outside world.

I meant to blog about school and my transition into it.
Well there hasn't been much of a transition.

STARTING HERE YOU MAY WANT TO SCROLL DOWN AND SKIP THIS WASTE OF YOUR TIME.

People who go to that school are foreigners.
But not the good type.

Think China people, but worse.
I can take Chinamen. I can speak Chinese.

But when the bloody Chinamen aren't from China. I don't know what to say.
Cambodia. Myanmar, Sri Lanka, Pakistan and Korea.

Damn it Pisses me off. I got no friends.
As much as I hate using slang -I Do?- I'd like to think of myself as a rather "fly" guy.
It hurts my pride that I got no friends. Even with the Chinapeople.

WELL THATS THE END OF IT.

Well here's a collection of more interesting stuff that I haven't been able to talk about...

Once upon a time, in ACS Intl,
A young Louis -I think it was- asked me in the toilet next to Mdm Ong's room.
Neil What do you think of the girls here. Do you think they're pretty or not?
-Now this was in year 3 so I was trying to be cool so I said-
Nah, not really, I mean it would lower my standards if I said any of them were pretty.
-Now don't be hating on me just cos I said that, I would like to think girls actually read my blog so I left this here.... I was Lying. Actually I thought some of them were kinda pretty but,

THE JUICE WAS NOT WORTH THE SQUEEZE
So yeah then Louis said
High standards eh?

Well If I remember correctly Evan told me Gary made a similar comment about standards being low here. Now if you think the bar is low ins ACS intl.

You have to meet some accountant-wannabe chics.
But I'm not really a good looker myself so I guess I shouldn't be saying anything.





So yeah basically my life sucks now. But its all part of my journey to become one rich-ass bastard.

You know, I starting to worry. I browsing through manga, when I managed to find a Yaoi book. And I just didn't stop reading it.
WTF is up with that?

If you didn't understand what I meant,
Sub Manga for Comic
Yaoi for ManLUV


Homophobe

the American dream

17 people in my class
6 are girls from China. I don't mean to be racist but when you think you've finally gotten rid of all those... Hey, I'm doing an Arnold.

"WE HAF TO GET TESE PEPOPLE OUTTA HEREE!!!"

I dunno if I should be like happy or disappointed about this but
they re all girls
I'm the only fucking guy in the class.
Well I can't tell if one's a guy or not so...

But I'm certain the rest are girls.
I guess like not having any friends might really happen.

Oh and the lecturer was Indian.
And he wouldn't stop looking at me...
was he checking me out?

I'm dumb, She's a lebian

Erm.. Neil. What do you do when the cops come to your house when they see 15 colitas in your back yard?
eargh... bake them into hash cookies of course!


I have decided to return to blogging with gusto, for the purpose of documenting my experience with a new school. You know, I doubt I'll have any friends.
The people signing up for the course all looked like uptight bastards... and walk like they have something stuck up their ass.

I wanted to rant about something, that was bugging me quite a bit you see. But now after thinking bout it, I've realized that it's incredulously petty.
But I'll make a few comments about it anyways.

I have no friends.
Yes that's right, I have no friends.
Stupid isn't it. I should have plenty of friends, shouldn't I?

I think the term Kevin used was..
good-weather friends
oops I meant to think fair weather friends.
I'll not edit this out cos that is truly how slow I am right now. I think it was the crazy changes in air pressure, not like anyone cares though.

Well that's what you get for leaving the school.

I've made too many acquaintances and not any friends.
Yes that's right.
Well if someone gets offended by it then, I guess I'm not sorry.
Cos that's the way I feel right now.

Oh, the redhead said you shred the cello

I came back from my hiking trip awhile ago.
I was just too lazy to make contact with too many other humans.

I only managed to make it up 2 mountains, 1 by cheating.
In the... four! Four days that I was there.
I didn't even see Mount Everest.

Sad. Sad. Sad.

I have school starting on Tuesday.
That sucks.

But its only 3 hours a day. That's not too bad i guess.
and only 3 days a week too.


Oh! I just read EB's blog awhile ago *actually just while typing this*
The Drinking age is 21?!

WTF!
WTF!
*For double the effect(:*

SHIT! Did you know, when I go for an NC16 movie the counter-person will eye me rather carefully and say one of the following lines.

Boy! You really 16 ah?
May I see your IC
IC please.
No IC no ticket ah.

Its really really SAD!
Do I look young to you?
Well you can't see BUT!

Now it's quite possible that without some body's help...
I might not get another drink for 4 years!

Oh well.

Bloomberg said

Well go to Beatrice's cake shop and explain the accounts to her.
Ok.
Oh and go to Vista and tell them to fire Jennifer. She causing them losses.
Ok. Wait Huh?

That was hilarious.
Well it really happened today.

Incubus Live Tomorrow.

Happy birthday to ME

Yes well, it was my birthday on the 27th.

I woke up that morning and walked into the kitchen.
My Mom and my bro were doing their usual stuff.
And I was like,

"Good MORNING! Do you guys have something to say to me?"
and they was like,
"Huh? You want something to eat?"
Or like
"Hey look at my SHARK QUEST!!"

So I was thinking, this must be one one of those "surprise birthday" things!
Till it was obvious it wasn't.


I looked at the newspaper that my mom was reading, you know, just making sure I don't do something stupid. So seeing as it was REALLY the 27th.

"Hmm I wonder what the date is today?"
"The 27th"
"Yeah, what DAY is that?"
"Wednesday"

You know, if I EVER had a kid come out of my... well i don't have one BUT! I'll at least remember what day it dropped out on! I guess.

Well so it was kinda dissapointing.


So I went to HMV to buy me something for myself for my birthday.
I spotted STADIUM ARCADIUM and bought it.

"EXCUSE ME BOSS, YOU HAVE A TEXT MESSAGE"

came blasting out of my phone on the MRT, resulting in some awkward stares.
It was a message from my dad saying happy birthday.
At least he remembered (:

Then while at work, I logged into my email and found a message saying
Alden Cheng wrote on your wall:
"happy birthday!"

Someone remembered! Without any obvious hints.
Kevin remembered too, although a day late. But hey, there's a time zone difference


Well so I've passed the days listening to my collection of the RHCPs albums.
Trying not to think.





I wanted a party on Saturday, Today, but everyone was busy with this "SCHOOL", I mean, what's that?
Kevin!!! Omg Can you come online at like 11 at night or something! I haven't talked to you in ages!

Attempt Depth, Prove Shallow-ness

N.E.E.T
Not in Education Employment or Training


I haven't done anything in ages.
I'm quite literally wasting away...
I mean, I happen to suck at writing, so I can never convey what I feel through MSN.
Which is why I hate IM-ing.

Well, the previous post was about why Asian men are losing out to White guys.
I saw it on YOUTUBE and found it funny xD.

Are we living, or are we already dying?

Chingay

Okay, today I was queuing up at a post office to get some stamps.
When I happened to overhear two tourists (Presumably American), Who were also in the queue.
They spotted a Chingay 2008 Poster emblazoned on a wall.

B1 says to B2:
Whats the Chingay parade?

B2
I dunno.... Hmmm. Oh!
It's a gay parade!

B1
Really? How'd you know.

B2
Well remember all of those people we saw in Thailand?
Doesn't the "lady" in the poster look EXACTLY like them?

B1
Oh nice thinking B2, you're a smart one aren't ya.

B2
But, you know what really gave it away?

B1
What?

B2
The name!

B1
Huh?

B2
ChinGAY... Get it?

Reject reality, it is of your making

I was Listening to "On Mercury" By The Red Hot Chili Peppers.
And I heard the trumpet.
"Louis plays the trumpet" - I thought.


Then I had a flashback.
Eb and I were in math class and we were singing "When you say nothing at all", to a Louis.
Plenty of fun as you can imagine.

And it was there and then that Eb had the idea of making a band.
So yeah Eb and I started talking about a band with:

Himself
Me
Anton
Louis
William


A sexy four man band with a trumpeter, I thought.
And I began to drown in the happiness of some other random thought.

Right smack in the middle of the thought, My flashback was interrupted by a SISTIC Cashier.

"Here's your INCUBUS LIVE IN SINGAPORE ticket"
"That will be $117, Thank you & Goodbye"

And so I forgot the reason why I was so happy.
I'm really stupid I thought.

I have to get Ah Leong a present by TMR or I'll forget.


I wanted to call upon the power of collective thinking but someone's too busy with strings.

I'll ask Willy or Eb Tmr then, maybe they'll be free-er.
I got new Spectacles! lol

Rhapsody of Melancholy

I Went out with Evan Yesterday.
It was as homo as two sharing a table for two in a fancy restaurant.
Pretty gay.

Not to say it wasn't fun (:
We made friends with a certain dinosaur who managed to escape from Wario's Manevolent clutches.

YOSHI

Facebook really REALLY makes you a camwhore.
So yeah we did plenty of stupid things.
And we didn't do what we went out to do.



Aside from that. While all you bastards are busy studying hard at school.
I am either working or playing...

Castlevania.
I bought Castlevania Dracula X Chronicles.

Which is a remake of Castlevania: Chi no Rondo. (Released in Japan only)
Well that was plenty fun in it's own right.
It was still set in a Stage by Stage sorta thing...

BUT!


Whats Even cooler is that...
The UMD came with a Castlevania Symphony of the Night in it!
OMGGG!
SoTN is THE BEST Castlevania game EVER! lololol

I remeber playing the PS1 Version when it came out.
Anyways They fixed it up a bit. And Ported it on to the PSP.

So yeah I'm busy wasting my time with my Second favouitest video game franchise ever.

MoonWalking - What a dream! Realized for $200 000 US$

Apparently so.
People are BUYING trips to the moon for US$ 200 000, or so I heard.
Cool Right?

But not AS cool as my new Umbrella!
From Chinatown earlier today.

I went back to school to get the official results...
And somehow I'm in ChinaTown Spending money on a Chinese Field trip.
The New people I met Today weren't so bad.

Lets make a list.

Kai
Sean
Cabbage -I forgot his Name lol!
Sharon
Minny

I'm a Pro! I remembered all -1 of their names!

Anyways some Pictures, taken by Willy and Sean...

Yeah that's it. An ASTRONOMICAL 2 pictures!

sausages and sauerkraut

Working is boring

School seems fun.
Wow. I can't believe I just said that.

JACKEYYYY PSP!!!!
Mwhahaha!

I'm super bored right now!




SIZE MATTERS...
Lol Punnn.