Vibrating Squids

Now, This morning, me and me mum were having a talk about dear old New Zealand.
Now I had told her something that would make all the Bio nerds get hot under the collar thinking about.
Something that would make them wet...
Something that would make them shiver in erotic anticipation.
Just like REZ for the PS2 would for the ladies!


Now REZ for the PS2 is absolutely godlike, in more ways than one.
Made in 2002 by SEGA it's absolute genius.
Its a game wherein you're a Cyber-Hacker.
You dodge weird security programmes whilst in a virtual body. Sort of shooting them out of your way... Maybe dodging some.

All in time to a Crazy Techno-Psychedelic Trance Beat!
HOLY SHIT it sounds cool don't it?

Actually it doesn't.
That's why SEGA had to go all the way for this game.
I mean its a cool idea, but not the best.
Now, we've all held a PS DualShock controller before haven't we?
Yeah of course we have!

Well SEGA made one of these Vibrating "Rumble Packs" for the REZ.



Its the fucking TRANCE VIBRATOR!
Its got 5 times the vibrating power of those DualShock controllers. It vibrates with increasing intensity in time to the trance music, and comes with a washable, waterproof cover...
I mean, why would you make the cover *washable* if it wasn't meant to be used as a sex toy?
The instruction manual said something like
"put it in your pocket"
But we all know what SEGA wanted us to do with it...
Yeah!
I meant its called a trance VIBRATOR!
But it was only released in Japan.

Well ladies playing this game have described the sensations as quite literally out of this world.
Try Imagining.
You play the lower levels, the musics not too intense, so you can't really get off on it.
Now you go to say, one of the Higher, Harder, More Intense levels.
With a Huge Phat beat, that you can finally get off on.

Your sight gets dizzy, you grip the controller weakly... You are about to cum...
then

You lose! FUCK!
Its like the ultimate Tease and Denial session! xD

Needless to say, its brought many gamers girlfriends into gaming...

Well anyway the thing that was gonna get those Bio nerds off was the dissecting of a complete Colossal Squid specimen later this week.
It could actually prove all those giant squid stories true. Cos its HUGE.

The Angry Video Game Nerd

What can I say?
Have you heard of the angry video game nerd?
If you haven't you should watch his fucking videos!
The man's hilarious.
He plays old-school nintendo games on a SNES and stuff
and he sucks at them.

Here's a link to his youtube channel.
http://www.youtube.com/user/JamesNintendoNerd

If I'm a dog then you're a bitch

I couldn't find any copies of "Bitter Virgin",
so I ended up getting a stuff toy instead.
Wow! I suck.
Louis though it was a rabbit.
But it was a Raccoon.

I don't wanna go for that thing on Saturday Ive been hearing about!
I don't...
Maybe I do, but I wasn't invited
I suck.

So! today I had an appointment with IRAS.
The rather dodgy people in the government who try and make as much money out of you with the word "Tax"
Some guy was late for filing his Income Tax for a day and was going to pay a fine of $800 or face charges in the supreme court sometime next month.

That's when I step in.

I'm meant to try and get them to lower the penalty and waiver the summon.
Well it wasn't that hard to lose a few hundred dollars...

Especially when the tax officer is hitting on you.
Yes that's right.
The 27 year old, female tax officer was flirting with me...
*I wouldn't trust my guesstimation with dates, I thought the people in my class were at most 18, but as it turns out I'm the youngest and the closest is 23*

That's just one of TWO instances today where old ladies have gotten hot under the collar around me.
Well after the Income Tax matter, I return to the office.
Some people who want to start a new company are there, talking to the boss.
I re-enter my work-station, and begin some casual data entry.

...after 15 minutes...

I ended up finishing up the company registration for them...
Then they leave.
Then, when they're just outside the door, one of the ladies say:
Their Clerk is such a handsome young man.
FUCK!?

I've been degraded! I'm not a clerk!

I swear this sucks!
You know I don't mind the whole older women thing
*MILFhunter!*
Well actually I do...
Look at Lao Shi.
Or my old house-mother, back when I was boarding.

I mean if its really a talent why can't I tune it to...
a younger audience...

Man this sucks

Pokemon Version YELLOW!

I dreamt about my tortoise 2 nights ago. He said he and his family's happy now swimming in a big pond. He's got his first kids. He was really happy.

EB: Someone's racist, wonder who?

Evan: Buttsecks is the Big In Thing now you know?
Neil: I think I dreamt about buttsecks awhile ago...
Evan: Its cool cos you don't have to discriminate, everyone has an asshole...

Willy: Neil it's this big?
Neil: Yeah...
Willy: You Lost weight!

Ben: Neil! You're fatter!
Neil: Fuck!

Red Dragon: Neil, you don't look Indian anymore.
Neil: Well *excited* What do I look like then?
Red Dragon: Gay...
Neil: ... Well I was entranced by this...

http://www.4shared.com/file/45110863/b0f4feb9/Calling_Chapter_01.html

Lien: Why a Turtle?
Neil: My Turtle gave birth awhile ago!


Well there is one comment I'd like to add, but it didn't happen today.

Louis: Anything darker than me... sigh. No

42-42-564

My Internets a bitch.
Suffice to say I haven't been having much contact with the outside world.

I meant to blog about school and my transition into it.
Well there hasn't been much of a transition.

STARTING HERE YOU MAY WANT TO SCROLL DOWN AND SKIP THIS WASTE OF YOUR TIME.

People who go to that school are foreigners.
But not the good type.

Think China people, but worse.
I can take Chinamen. I can speak Chinese.

But when the bloody Chinamen aren't from China. I don't know what to say.
Cambodia. Myanmar, Sri Lanka, Pakistan and Korea.

Damn it Pisses me off. I got no friends.
As much as I hate using slang -I Do?- I'd like to think of myself as a rather "fly" guy.
It hurts my pride that I got no friends. Even with the Chinapeople.

WELL THATS THE END OF IT.

Well here's a collection of more interesting stuff that I haven't been able to talk about...

Once upon a time, in ACS Intl,
A young Louis -I think it was- asked me in the toilet next to Mdm Ong's room.
Neil What do you think of the girls here. Do you think they're pretty or not?
-Now this was in year 3 so I was trying to be cool so I said-
Nah, not really, I mean it would lower my standards if I said any of them were pretty.
-Now don't be hating on me just cos I said that, I would like to think girls actually read my blog so I left this here.... I was Lying. Actually I thought some of them were kinda pretty but,

THE JUICE WAS NOT WORTH THE SQUEEZE
So yeah then Louis said
High standards eh?

Well If I remember correctly Evan told me Gary made a similar comment about standards being low here. Now if you think the bar is low ins ACS intl.

You have to meet some accountant-wannabe chics.
But I'm not really a good looker myself so I guess I shouldn't be saying anything.





So yeah basically my life sucks now. But its all part of my journey to become one rich-ass bastard.

You know, I starting to worry. I browsing through manga, when I managed to find a Yaoi book. And I just didn't stop reading it.
WTF is up with that?

If you didn't understand what I meant,
Sub Manga for Comic
Yaoi for ManLUV


Homophobe

the American dream

17 people in my class
6 are girls from China. I don't mean to be racist but when you think you've finally gotten rid of all those... Hey, I'm doing an Arnold.

"WE HAF TO GET TESE PEPOPLE OUTTA HEREE!!!"

I dunno if I should be like happy or disappointed about this but
they re all girls
I'm the only fucking guy in the class.
Well I can't tell if one's a guy or not so...

But I'm certain the rest are girls.
I guess like not having any friends might really happen.

Oh and the lecturer was Indian.
And he wouldn't stop looking at me...
was he checking me out?